Tears Over Bedroom Furniture?!? Maybe Notsays the Little Girl!

My new bedroom furniture was just delivered. I am so excited, ripping thru boxes like a kid on Christmas morning. Putting everything together, getting it all Feung Sheu! Its all done and i sit there exhausted looking at my beautiful new bedroom! Suddenly I choke up and tears fall from my eyes, streaming down my cheeks. I am taken aback. Why am i crying like this?Slowly I begin to remember. I can see a little girls bedroom in my memory. My new furniture is all white. With a matching dresser and mirror. A nightstand. All white. Like a little girls bedroom set only big style! Like the one i always imagined a little girl should have, like i should have had. Like i used to dream about when i was little. Why didnt i see this before? When i was picking it out I just like the white style because it was fresh and different than the expected Oak or dark wood styles i was seeing every where else. Or so i thought.I was even more excited than before! I just gave myself the best present i could have ever gotten and i even did incognito of my conscience mind! I gave my little girl inside a present that was long overdue. I felt so spoiled and sweet and warm. And a little bit sad. I should have gotten this as a little girl. This and so many other things.My childhood is something I dont like to talk about much. I dont like to live in the past or even remember i had one. This is somewhat of a problem for me, at least several therapists and psychiatrists tell me it is. I was raised in a very religious oppressive environment where i was ignored and deprived of even the most basic of needs. Its difficult for me to complain because i made it thru and so many other children had it worse than i did, of that i am sure.

Anyway, today is a great day for me! Today i made up for one thing. Today I gave my little girl a present and righted a wrong in my past. It feels good. So today I cry. Tears of joy, tears of redemption, tears of a little girl so happy to sleep in her beautiful white bed! Yaaaay! .